Funnel Fiction

Funnel Fiction

A story about the weird law of B2B selling: internal logic, emotional sense, and why you shouldn’t give prospects time to think

There’s a fragile ecosystem at play when a prospect (finally) decides to buy your software. 

A set of unwritten laws, if you will.

Known only to those who watch far too many movies and dissect the internal logic of time travel films. Ahem, me 🙂

If you're selling SaaS, understanding these laws means you get the jump on buyers who never experience the dreaded "Hang on a minute" moment. 

Because the second they pause for thought, your deal is (probably) dead.

Rule #1: Sellers can bend reality. But only if it holds together

You, the Seller, operate in a gray area of persuasion: "Don’t break the law while breaking the law." 

In other words, the construct has to make sense within itself. (It's okay, this isn't about committing a felony.)

It doesn’t have to be objectively TRUE, just emotionally and narratively consistent.

Think of the iconic disappearing photo in Back to the Future (1985). Scientifically absurd. But we don’t care. Why? Because within the story, it makes emotional sense. Marty’s very existence is fading! The stakes are real! We’re invested!

Your sales pitch should follow the same logic. 

The buyer doesn’t have time to overanalyze — they just have to FEEL it.

Rule #2: Time travel logic applies to sales

In movies, time travel falls apart the moment someone stops to think about it. 

The trick is momentum. 

If a character starts asking "Wait, so if I change the past, wouldn't that mean...?" the story crumbles.

Same goes for your sales pitch.

The worst thing you can do is introduce a concept that makes your buyer hesitate. 

The minute they say, "Wait a second..." you’ve lost.

  • Good selling: Paints a future so compelling that they move toward it without hesitation.
  • Bad selling: Leaves space for doubt and unnecessary reflection.

Rule #3: Buyers don’t have time to notice the strings

Every sale is a kind of close-up magic trick. 

The best sellers make sure the buyer never sees how it's done.

Apple did this beautifully. 

They removed the headphone jack and say, "It's the courage to innovate."

Does it make any logical sense? Barely. Does it feel right? Absolutely.

So, your job isn’t to be airtight in a courtroom; it’s to sell a believable reality that gets your prospect to act.

Rule #4: "Hang on a minute" must be eliminated

When your buyer hits a mental speed bump, their entire purchase trajectory derails.

  • "Wait, why do I actually need this payments analytics app?"
  • "Didn’t I see this feature at some other SaaS for less?"
  • "Is this problem even that big of a deal to my business?"

Every friction point is a chance for a buyer to back out. 

In SaaS sales: Momentum is everything (until, it isn’t).

Rule #5: Don’t try to understand it 

When you think through your sales strategy. Consider this: logic isn’t about being "correct." 

Aim for internal consistency, emotional resonance, and deliver it fast enough that no one asks too many questions.

The second your buyer stops to think, the sale has already disappeared from the photo.

And, there’s no time machine that can save your pipeline.


Update: This sounds like a grift.

Ah, yes. You’ve read this before. No, literally — you have read this before. A week ago, from the future. And let me tell you, you knew what you were going to think before you even read it again.

Sounds like a con, doesn’t it? Pulling the wool over innocent buyers’ eyes. Treating prospects like marks. Momentum over truth? Emotion over logic? How very convenient.

But if you’ve ever bought anything — anything — you already know this is how the game works. You want to believe you’re the exception, that your critical thinking shields you from the gravitational pull of a well-crafted sales pitch. But the fact that you’re even arguing proves you’ve already engaged with the premise.

You want to fight it? Fine. But you’ve already felt it.

Ever found yourself buying something and then later rationalizing why it was a good idea? That’s not a ‘time travel’ glitch. That’s the system working as intended.

The trick isn’t about fooling people. It’s about understanding that decisions are made in motion, not in pause. The best sales aren’t deception; they’re directives. A clear, undeniable path forward — before the brain can stop itself from wanting it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go back to last Thursday and convince myself not to buy that Agentic AI-Sales Platform. But I already know how that turns out.

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